6R 14/5 SPaG (expanded noun phrases)

Hi year 6, When analysing the results from the SPaG test (that only 30/90 of you completed) it became apparent that many of you still struggle with identifying and creating noun phrases as well as expanded noun phrases. So today, this is what we will revise.

Task 1 – I would like you to watch the video on the following link, complete the 3 questions in which you need to highlight the noun phrases and then I would like you to complete the quiz on that page. https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/topics/zwwp8mn/articles/z3nfw6f

Task 2 – I would then like you to watch the video below and choose a part of the video to write a descriptive paragraph about. Write your paragraph in the comments below. Your paragraph must include:

  • At least 5 sentences
  • Expanded noun phrases
  • Metaphors
  • Similes
  • Parenthesis ( – ,)
  • personification
  • Subordination

Please make your paragraph as interesting and as fun as possible. This should take you at least ten minutes. We spend a lot of time creating these blogs for you and we try to make them fun, you shouldn’t be rushing. We know the level of work to expect from you. EVERYONE should be able to include at least two of the attributes requested above

25 thoughts on “6R 14/5 SPaG (expanded noun phrases)

  1. The aged, decrepit lady sat on the brown, wooden bench. Her coarse hands tried to make contact with the yummy, delicious cookies. As she wanted the cookies incredibly badly, She whacked the rigid cookie machine with all her might and power because they wouldn’t come out.
    Granny had looked at the machine as if it was an adorable statue. But she was still suspicious about the strange cookie machine as it never gave the scrumptious cookies right away.

  2. The old lady gone towards the vending machine to gate some treat our self.When she looked in machine its one packet of biscuit is left.Then she put the money and enter the code.Afterword the biscuit dosen’t and she was angry.The old lady trayed to knoking down but still not fall.After that she walk away and then ran back to the vending machine and knock the biscuit down now she is happy.She gate the biscuit and put in the bag then walk in the platform.The old lady went to the platform.When she went platform she see the wooden bench.The old lady set down on the bench then waiting for her train.The old lady takeout biscuit packet from her bag.Opened the packet and started to eat the biscuit but next to her one boy listening musics. He reached a biscuit and take one biscuit.The old lady didn’t like it so she was put biscuit packet in her lape but sill boy take again a biscuit. The old lady was angry she was taking some-thing but he listening a musics so he can’t hear anything that’s way she take out hes has headphone wear. After one biscuit is left so that boy take it. The old was very angry. That boy think and do half biscuit and give half biscuit to the old lady and half eat by self. But old is very angry that’s way she crumbled half biscuit.The train is coming she was walking to in a train.She seat in a train.After that train master come and see her train ticket.She give ticket and ticket master panch a ticket.Afterword she see biscuit packet in her bag then she realised that biscuit packet was not mine.That’s way the boy was eating.The old lady looking from window and smile that boy.The train was going the boy took the biscuit wrapper and put in the bin then he’s gone.

    • Wow! What a lot of writing Shree! Thinking about expanded noun phrases, how would you describe 1) the bench and 2) the biscuits. Use adjectives!

  3. I got 5 out of 5
    As the old lady walked towards the platform where she would board he train, she stopped at the vending machine to receive some sweet treats.Sadly,when she had entered the code and her coin the snacks stayed put refusing to budge.Angrily,the old woman attacked the vending machine with all her might.They still wouldn’t move.The lady began to walk away looking back reluctantly.Then she turned back and barged into the machine.Caught by surprise, the snacks fell from their row.The old lady walked off to her platform with glee.As she sat on the bench waiting for her train.She ate one of her biscuits.Suddenly a teenage boy sitting next to her who was listening to music reached and took a biscuit.The old lady but them on her lap.Once again he took another biscuit.Now infuriated she roared at the boy to stop taking her stuff but he could no hear from his music.As if on cue,the boy took the last biscuit.As the biscuit neared it’s demise the old woman started to shake her head telling the boy not to eat it.The boy broke it in half and gave it to the old woman.She broke her piece whilst the boy ate it.Reluctantly she walked of to her train and went to find her seat.She sat down and closed the window as soon as she saw the teenage boy.She rummaged through her bag and found the treats she had brought from the vending machine.She smiled out the window to the teenage boy as the train chugged along the tracks.

    • Fabulous writing, Ayaan! And well done for getting 5/5 in the quiz. Your last 4 sentences begin with “She” which detracts as little from the impact on the reader – how could you improve?

  4. In the expanded noun phrase quiz i got 5/5
    Excitedly, the old lady rummaged in her purse looking for a coin to enter the machine. Her reflection through the glass window was impeccable. The delicious item she wanted was called ”Cookie Swirl”. As she was waiting for the cookies to come out she realised the cookies had not come down. The wise old lady banged the machine as much as she could until she was about to walk off . She thought ,”what if I run into it”, she ran and the cookies dropped. The lady walked off resentful.

    • Hello Zara, well done for getting full marks in the quiz!

      Your written paragraph above is really good. You have been hard these past few weeks. Can you find out the meaning of the word “resentful”? Does this word fit in well for your last sentence?

  5. I scored full marks on the questions and the quiz.

    An old woman walked by to a vending machine to receive sweet goods. She paid what was needed but the vending machine was testing her patience. She got furious at this so she gave it many blows but her efforts were in vain; the vending machine chuckled in glee. She attempted once more with an extremely powerful kick which is what made the vending machine cough up her delicious goods. She was making her way steadily over to the train station where she met someone who looked somewhat of a delinquent.

    • Wow that is fantastic Mahamad : full marks on the quiz!!

      I love the use of the metaphor in your writing and the range of interesting vocabulary. A few of your sentences begin with the word “she” can you re- write one of this sentences below perhaps using a simile?

  6. I got 5/5 on the quiz.

    The lady sat down on the ancient wooden bench next to a young man listening to music. She took a cookie out of the packet. The man sat there bewildered at what had just happened. The young man took the cookies and began to eat them. The women, who didn’t know the cookies weren’t hers,was ferocious. She argued with the young man as she waited for her train. She got even more angry when she found out he wasn’t listening to her. She got on to the train only to find out the cookies weren’t hers…

  7. When the sun had risen an old lady appeared and she was vigarously looking for one thing and one thing only her beloved cookie swirls. Once she found them she put her wrinkly hand in her leather purse and payed all she had for the cookie swirls but the cookie she wanted was reluctant to leave so the 75 year old women had only one thing to do and that was rapidly run at the machine like a charging bull when she saw them in awe at the great Colleseum when she was 12. She had got what she wanted and walked with joy to the seat where she would always sit at when she went on the train but there was a unexpected visit and the women did not like it. They snatched and grabbed, hassled and fussed over just cookies but they were not just cookies for granny they were the world. The train had come, as she got in she gave a ugly look at the other fusser but little did she know she was eating and fussing over the other fussers cookies and smiled at the other bystander.

    • Excellent work Humza, look at your second sentence, it’s rather long. Re-write that part again and think about what punctuation you could use to up level that sentence.

  8. The old granny put the silver coin in the machine as she wanted the delicious yummy cookies . She wanted the cookies so badly she banged the machine as she was angry because the woudn’t drop down . Granny looked at the machine as it was a robot. She finally got them whereas she was still anxious because the cookies took time to come out .

    • Hi Luiza, please remember to complete the task on your own or with support from adults around you. Do not copy and paste other children’s responses, this will not help you make progress in your learning. Please have another in doing the above task.

  9. The old, aged lady was grey haired and her eyes matched her hair. She was dressed in dark colours such as brown and grey. Suddenly, she froze as if she had seen a ghost, then turned to her left. Her head rose gazing upon a bright red packet of delicious, mouth watering packet of cookies. Immediately, she put a round, silver coin inside of the machine waiting for the luxuriour cookies to be in reach.

  10. The old lady sat down on the brown, wooden bench.Her wrinkly hand reached out for the cookie packet.The young boy who sat next to her was starstruck.The granny pulled open the cookie packet .Slowly putting the cookie into her mouth.Just as the chocolate was melting in her mouth, the boy grabbed the packet and took a cookie out .The old lady looked shock.Little did she know that the cookies were not hers.

  11. The old granny put the silver coin in the machine as she wanted the delicious yummy cookies . She wanted the cookies so badly she banged the machine as she was angry because the woudn’t drop down . Granny looked at the machine as it was a robot. She finally got them whereas she was still anxious because the cookies took time to come out .

    • Well done Zahrah, it’s lovely to see you on the blogs early. Can you give me two other synonyms for the word “old” which you could use to describe the granny?

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