Standing in the shade of the tree, the tiger waits. His eyes
stare at one thing; the gazelle which grazes on the long grass.
Slowly, the tiger’s breathing becomes heavier and a low grunting
sound escapes from his mouth. Saliva begins to form in his mouth
as he prepares for what will happen next…
Spotting his opportunity, the tiger darts across the dry ground
towards his prey. Sprinting as fast as the speed of light, the tiger
embraces the gazelle and tackles it to the floor. Content, the tiger
begins his meal.
Explain how tension was created referencing the text throughout.
Hint: ellipses, language, adverbs, adjectives, complex sentences, simple
sentences. How do these build tension?
They created tension by describing the Tiger’s surroundings with adjectives e.g dry ground and long grass and content. They also used tension by using complex sentences so the reader would get more interested in the story to make them read on. A range of puncuation (,.?’;) as well .
The writer has used good vocabulary and he has used ellipses as well as adjectives”
“They have used elipses were it says what will happen next,it made me wonder what would happen next”
“Similies were used such as sprinting as fast as the speed of light and they have used a semi colon in his eyes stare at one thing ; the gazzel which grazes on the long grass”
“The writer has used good words and
This text builds tension by starting very slow paced,and then getting faster and faster and then it comes the moment when the Gazelle is slaughtered by the viscous tiger. The text also builds tension by adding ellipses and fast paced sentences which makes the reader wonder, what’s going to happen?,Is the Tiger going to succeed? and Will the Gazelle get slaugtered?
Well done Sam. You have wrote the text is slow placed then becomes faster, please explain how this is possible when writing sentences? (sentence type? vocabulary? punctuation?) What allows pace to be built within writing?
In this text, the tension which has been built are the adverbs used effectively. The tension which has been used nicely is the ellipses because, when it was used the reader would would want to find out what happens after the ellipses being used.
The tension was good when the complex sentences slowly turned smaller to simple sentences. This shows the reader that something bad is about to happen. One punctuation used effectively is the semi colon.
Well analysed Pranit, using these writers tricks please write your own few sentences which build tension.
This text builds tension because it has lot of adverbial such as slowly ,standing spotting and sprinting.In this text the person has used lot of variety of language such complex sentences,punctuation like ellipses, commas ,semi colons, apostrophe and full stops.This text makes people imagin it there head.In this text pace is created by complex sentences then simple sentence .Lots of complex and embedded sentences are used in this text.e.g Slowly ,the tiger breathing becomes heavier and heavier and alow grunting sound escapes from his mouth .
Well done Zaid, you have given some good examples but please clearly explain the impact of changing the sentence types on the reader (complex and simple)
Complex sentences and simple sentences are used to build tension by building the pace.Ellipse are used to have a break e.g (and then…he saw a terrifying monster)Adjectives are used to build tension by using (in pitch black dark)Adverbs build tension by using (suddenly,rapidly and slowly)
Good analysis Jay, please use these writers tricks to write your own few sentences which build tension.
This work builds tension by first using complex sentences to show the Tigers surrounding but then it starts to become simple sentences which creates tension and it wants the reader to read on.Also,this work builds tension by using ellipses.By using ellipses, it wants to make the reader to read on and the student hasn’t put the ellipses in any random space,the student thought where to put it and planned it correctly.Furthermore,adverbs create tension because at the start standing in the shade of the tree but then the student put an action like slowly the Tigers breath becomes heavier and it create pace ,which could be vital to create tension .Morover ,the student has used adjectives which create tension because the adjectives has changed when the tiger has found his chance to kill his prey.Tension can be created by language choices which creates imagery in the readers mind.
However, the student could have used a rhetorical question like the tiger wandered what would be his prey’s next step which gives a piece of personification.
Really good analysis of this piece of writing.
You have suggested the write could have used a rhetorical question or personification, please write your own few sentences which build tension, using either one or both of your suggestions.
The writer used great adjectives as low grunting and breathing becomes heavier.
Simple sentences create pace. She used elipsis like As he prepares for what will happen next … The writer has used a semi colon to make more detail and the writer has used similes to make pase in the writing. She used more detail like Saliva begins to form in his mouth. She used good vocabulary like scared and there are a lot more examples and the writer used a great simile like sprinting as fast as the speed of lightning which is a great simile . The writer has used lots of features in this a amazing piece of writing
Well done – make sure you use inverted commas to show text which is referenced.
The writer used lots of adverbs e.g slowly and adjectives like dry also smilies like the tiger sprinted as fast as the speed of light
Ellipses creates tension by making you jump because you don`t know
what is going to happen like in this text.Eg.Saliva begins to form in his mouth as he prepares for what will happen next…
Also,it is created when you use adjectives and similes so it makes it more detailed.
Spotting his opportunity is a intresting phrase because it describes what he is doing it and how he is doing it.
Well done – make sure you use inverted commas when referencing text.
good language features are used throughout the text and ellipses are used and similes as well.Good verbs are used and it builds up tension when it says what will happen next …
Expand on this further.
The writer has created tension by using ellipses and has used other features such as writing short sentences.This person has used interesting adjectives and adverbs such as “slowly”.