Using fronted adverbials and time connectives to captivate readers.

Your task is to edit and improve the sentence openers to make them more exciting. This may involve you changing the order of your sentence.
For example:

Anna and Paul walked peacefully through the countryside after school.

Peacefully
, Anna and Paul walked through the countryside after school.
Or
After school, Anna and Paul walked peacefully through the countryside.

Now it is your turn to improve the story below.

The enemy airman

Anna and Paul walked home from school through the quiet countryside, Anna and Paul wondered how there could possible be a war on. Anna and Paul knew that the war was on during the night when they could hear explosions in the distance. Anna and Paul slept in a room at the front of the house. That night, the sky stayed clear, the moon was bright. Anna could hear owls hooting in the distance. The sound of owls hooting suddenly changed into deep, terrible drones, far away but coming gradually nearer.

23 thoughts on “Using fronted adverbials and time connectives to captivate readers.

  1. 16/1/16

    When Anna & Paul walked after school then they peacfully walked through the countryside.Then two wondered how there possibly be a war at night. Anna & Paul slept in a room in a room in front of the house then they heard owls howling then from owls howling it turned to a deep metallic drone coming nearer and nearer with bombs exploding making big big booms. in that night the sky wad clear and the was soaring through the midnight sky.Anna & Paul were reallly scared they covered the windows in black cloth and turned the lights off so it is a blackout and the enemy bombers could not see them it was all black over the city lound sirens went off lound planes soaring in the dark dark sky.

  2. 16/1/16

    When Anna & Paul walked after school then they peacfully walked through the countryside.Then two wondered how there possibly be a war at night. Anna & Paul slept in a room in a room in front of the house then they heard owls howling then from owls howling it turned to a deep metallic drone coming nearer and nearer with bombs exploding making big big booms. in that night the sky wad clear and the was soaring through the midnight sky.

  3. While Anna and Paul were walking home they thought,How could there be a war going on in the peaceful day?During the night,they knew that there was a war going on because they could hear lots of noises.😟😟😟Meanwhile Paul was fast asleep,Anna stayed up late and heard sirens going off far away.😰😰😰Anna tried to wake up lazy Paul but he wouldn’t get up.😨😨😨She didn’t want to be alone but she had to be. Anna heard peaceful owls hooting.Suddenly,the hooting transformed into dark,evil, drones!😦😦😦The horrible sound came closer!And closer!And closer!😱😱😱

  4. Peacefully after school, Anna and her friend, Paul strolled through the quiet, beautiful countryside.They wondered how there could be a war going on while it was a peaceful day.During the night, Anna and Paul knew there was a war taking place because they could heat explosions in the distance.In the bedroom, which was in front of the house,Anna slept with Paul, while she could hear owls hooting.The moon was shining bright, but then the sound of hooting suddenly changed into terrifying drones, far away but coming gradually closer, closer and closer.

  5. Anna and Paul walked home from school through the peacfull countryside,they wondered how it could possibly be a war.The two children knew that the war was on during the night when they could hear explosions in the distance. They slept in the cosy room in front of the house .During that night, the sky stayed clear, the moon was as bright as the sun .Anna could hear the owls hooting in the distance .

  6. Peacefully Anna and Paul walked home from school through the calm and quiet countryside.But then they wondered how there could be a war going on in the calm countryside when nothing was in the sky!As they got home and ate and went to bed,they both knew that there was a war going on because they could hear explosions and bullets shooting like lightining in the distance.As they slept peacefully in a room that was in front of the house.That night,the children couldn’t hear the explosions from the bombs anymore.As the moon brightly shined in the sky, Anna could hear the beautiful owls hooting in the distance.Suddenley,They both couldn’t hear owls hooting anymore. All they could hear was deep loud terrible drones in the distance but coming closer and closer and closer until the sound suddenly stopped.After the noise stopped,they both looked out of the window until they suddenly saw a plane fly away and dropped a bomb on the way back!!

  7. Peacefully, Anna and Paul walked home from school through the quiet countryside
    ,they wondered how there could be a war on.During the night they knew there was a war on because they could hear loud explosions in the distance.The two terrified children slept in the room which was at the front of the house, that night the white and clear ,the sky was as clear as it could be.Anna could hear the owls hotting in the distance.

  8. After a hard day of school,Anna and Paul peacefully walked through the countryside.Just that moment, the two children wondered how could there possibly be a war on.During the night,both of the children knew there was a war going on because of the loud explosions in the distance.Anna and Paul who where sleeping in there room Infront of there house.Suddenly, the sky stayed clear and the moon was breathtaking.In the distance,Anna could hear owls hooting.

  9. During Anna and Paul walked home from school through the peaceful,green and luscious country side. As they walked they both wondered how can there possibly be a war on. All of a sudden,in the night the pair of them saw and heard metallic drones spitting fire at houses. During the night,they fell asleep the moon was shiny and glistening.she heard owls hooting proudly in the distance.as the hooting carried on it turned into deep drones far away but coming gradually near, near and near.

  10. While Anna and Paul walked home from school through the peaceful countryside, they wondered how there could possible be a war on. During the night, the children knew the war was on because they could hear explosions in the distance. At the front of the house, Anna and Paul slept in a room which was near their house door.During that night, the dark sky stayed clear ,the white moon was nice and clear. Also Anna could hear owls with big eyes hooting. Suddenly the hooting of the owls changed into deep , terrible drones, far away but coming gradually nearer.

  11. In the morning , Anna and Paul walked home from school the quiet countryside, they wondered how there could possibly be a war on. During the dark, starry night , Anna and her brother knew there was a terrifying war on when they could hear explosions in the far ,far distance.The children both slept in a room which was at the front of the house.On that night , the dark,black sky stayed clear,the moon was as bright as the shiny,golden yellow sun.Anna could hear owls howling like a wolf far away.

  12. While Anna and Paul skipped through the peaceful country side they couldn’t believe that there was a war going on.During the night, the children knew that there was a war going on because there were faint explosions ,they also slept in the front room which made the bombs extremely louder and made Anna and Paul feel hesitated. In the darkness, the sky was absolutely clear and the moon was bright.Meanwhile, she could hear a lovely sound of owls tweeting.Suddenlythe lovely sound turntable into horrific killer drones!!!

  13. Peacefully, Anna and Paul walked through the countryside wondering how is it possible that the war is happening when it is so quiet in the beautiful calm countryside. During the night, the two children who knew that there was a war on because they could hear a loud… BOOM!! in the distance. During the frightening war, they slept in a old tatty room in front of the dark gloomy house where they could here lots of explosions and bombs. At the same night, the children could see a bright,shiny moon and the sky stayed bright blue. Anna could hear owls hooting…and hooting… and hooting which turned into a deep,metallic war drones emerging from the delicate white fluffy clouds far away coming gradually nearer… And nearer… And nearer.
    From Rudaba and Salma

  14. Anna and Paul walked home from school through the quiet countryside, The both children wondered how there could possible be a war on.Suddently,they knew the war was on during the foggy night . Just at that,moment they could hear explosions in the distance.the 2 children,slept in a warm room at front of the old house.One freezing night, the blue sky stayed clear, the moon was shining as bright as it could.poor Anna,could hear the annoying owls hooting in the distance.Unexpectedly,sound of owls hooting suddenly changed into deep, terrible drones, far away but coming gradually nearer.

  15. During the end of school, Anna and Paul walked home quickly as possible. They thought the war were coming today. During the dark night, Anna and Paul heard explosions then Anna and Paul were worried about the bomb.they both slept but Anna slept in a room next to the door and Paul slept next to the window.that day the blue sky stayed clear and the blue moon stayed cleared to.Anna could hear owls next to the trees hooting.Far away Anna and Paul were gradually nearer.

    Takwa and nadia

  16. Through the quiet countryside Anna and Paul walked home from school.They had possibly wondered if a war could be on. During the night, Anna and Paul knew that the war was on.In the distance they could hear the war bombing going BOOM! They could hear owls hooting.The moon was as shiny

  17. Ibrahim and Abdul

    Through the country side Anna and Paul was walking home and wondered how could there be a terrible war.
    They were really frightened and scared “what shall we do”cried Anna.
    Anna and Paul knew the terrible war was during the dark dark night.
    When they could hear explosions in the far distance.
    Anna and Paul slept at front of the huge room.😱😱😱

  18. Through the quiet country side Anna and Paul wondered how there was war.they knew the war was on when they were in bed they could hear bombs.Creeping torwads the window planes soaring through the sky. It was silent … BOOM CRASH”oh no” Anna said.

  19. Though the quiet country,Anna and Paul walked home from school .they both wondered how the war can possibly be going on.As they were walking,they knew that the war was going on .In the distance they both could hear explosions.Anna could hear the noisy birds tweeting .

  20. While Anna and Paul strode home from school around the silent countryside they
    Wondered how a war could possible be on. During the night they knew that the war was on. In the distance they could hear explosions booom! Anna and Paul slept ina room at the front of the house.that night the sky stayed clear the moon was bright.then they could hear owls tooting in a dis tante

  21. When Anna and Paul walked after school then they .Peacfully walked through the countryside . Then the two wondered how there possibly be a war at night .Anna and Paul slept in a room in a room in front of the house then they heard owls howling then from owls howling it turned to a deep metallic drone coming nearer and nearer with bombs exploding making big booms .in that night the sky was clear
    And the the wind was soaring through the midnight sky .

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