Year 5’s Journey Through Middle Earth


Hobbit display pictureHi Year 5, 

This week you will be using your plans and all the skills you have been developing over the last few weeks, to write your own adventure story.

To help you to create the best piece of work possible, please use the blog below to share your ideas, as well as answer some of the following questions/challenges:

– What descriptive techniques are you going to use to describe your characters? Can you give an example?

– How could you use Show Not Tell to describe a setting your story? Write an example below. Can you improve any of the examples that have already been written?

– Use dashes or brackets to add information to a sentence describing one of your characters.

– Why is it important to create a good balance between Action + Description + Dialogue in your story?

Challenge: Can you write an effective beginning to your story? How did Tolkien begin the Hobbit? 

During the week Miss Redhead and I will post examples of great writing to keep you inspired – make sure you read them and think how you could use them to improve your own writing.

Mrs Mahtani


30 thoughts on “Year 5’s Journey Through Middle Earth

  1. 1)To describe my character I am going to use powerful adjectives e.g breathless. I will also use expanded noun phrases, figurative language so I can use metaphors to say my character is an a object when it really is not.
    2) I am going to use brackets (if needed) so I can add extra information to describe my character and show how she is feeling.
    3)It is good to use a majority of Action + Dialogue + Description in my story because I would describe my character and I would use dialogue to make my characters communicate together.

  2. You have to keep a balance of Action + Description + Dialogue in your story because if you just description it will turn into a description and if you just use dialogue it will turn into a conversation.

  3. Writing technique:
    A sample of personification is: the flowers danced in the wind.
    *show not tell.
    A sample of show not tell is : her hands were sweaty and her eyes watered.

  4. Show not tell
    Two glowing yellow eyes popped up out of a bush. It had a green smooth looking body. It had a long,red young, which reached over five centimetres long. He heard a buzz and than a noise like stepping through thick squelchy mud. Thlup,thlup,thlup. It was a …….. Frog !

    • Yet not a long ago Harry’s mother died she had hazel,curly hair and sea blue eyes -well I just told you how Harry looks, Harry was a mini her. Before his mum died She told Harry to be brave be kind and have courage.

  5. I am going to change my commas into dashes to add more information.
    It is important to keep the action dialogue and description the same because otherwise it would be too much action and we wouldn’t know anything about the characters. Also there would only be a narrator speaking or the character speaking.

  6. It is important to make your story balanced with action dialogue and description because if the you just described it won’t be a story, if you just use diolauge you won’t understand the story and it will be pure conversation. That is why you need to balance it out so it could actually become a story.

    By marhia :) :)

  7. I think when describe show not tell is like something you not tell them and you describe for them.
    If you don’t have description or actions dialogue it will be borne.

  8. 1.I would use show and tell like the mans palms were sweating which would show the man would be nervous
    2.You could use dashes like the hairy-ancient trolls-whose names were Bert-Tom and Thomas liked dwarves.

  9. I will describe ther home and clothes for exsapal his home was so clean ther was not even a staine to be seen. I will describe it for exsapal it was dark and damp it was cold like a ice berg. (Crane was a good man he liked action movies he has always wanted to be a supperhero now is his chance) there was once a man named crane his home was quite messy but quite ok there was there was poster of a famers villan named rise he was ad agrees man cranes dreme was about to come true.

  10. I am going to use strong synonyms for words;he has a tattoo,which represents his crew emblem.

    The creepy,damp forest had a man,who stood in the middle of the dark,spooky forest.I can improve it by switching it around;In the middle of the dark,spooky forest,stood a man in the creepy,damp forest.

  11. It is important to use good balance between action,dialogue and description because if you only have little dialogue and lots of description the reader wouldn’t know what the characters are saying.

  12. 1. Jack is powerful and super strong. He has a tatoo which is powerful. He has a friend called Jade. Jade has a scar on her face. She can defeat the evils. She also has powers. She can freeze people. She also has a powerful tattoo.

  13. It is important to have a good balance because if you had put more dialogue in than description people won’t know about the setting or person.

    The hobbit- who was a welcoming, loving person- had a clean home.

    Tolkien had started the story of by describing honey hobbit lived and how his peronlity was.

    • In my story, the descriptive technique I would do is, expanded noun phrases, powerful adjectives, personification, an example is the mountains marched along the road. I would use show not tell to describe my characters so the reader can imagine what the character looks like.

  14. We could use a good amount of action dialogue and description because if there was no dialogue you wouldn’t know what the characters are saying and if you there was no description It wouldn’t bulid a picture in your head of what is happening in the story.

    Tolkien started the story by saying how the hobbit hole looks like because he said it isn’t a hole filled with the ends of worms and it doesn’t have an oozy smell.

  15. The descriptive techniques I will use to describe my characters will be expanded noun phrases, figurative language and powerful adjectives. Tolkien began the story by describing the hobbit and where he lives and about his families and neighbours.

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