Year 6 Red – English Descriptive writing 05.05.20

Today, you will be using the language that you have learnt and apply it to describing this scene.

Use the below pictures from Avengers: Endgame as an inspiration and I would like you to write a setting description for this scene.

Avengers: Endgame' Star Was Shocked To See Their Cameo In The Film
Avengers: Endgame' Stunt Coordinator on Shattering the Glass ...

Use the following descriptive examples to help you:

  1. A scar of bright light hung in the bat-black sky.
  2. A gash of radiant light broke through the cauldron-black sky.
  3. A fracture of birthstone-bright light peeped through the pagan-black sky.
  4. A rupture of moonstone-yellow light appeared in the carnal-black sky.
  5. A lesion of lodestar-bright light illuminated the benighted sky.

Think about using the following figurative language or maybe adapting it to make your own.

  1. We were battering and beating against our enemy under a sunless sky.
  2. We were clobbering and clubbing against their shield wall under a moonless sky.
  3. We were pounding and pummelling their defences under a beamless sky.
  4. We were carving and cleaving towards the centre of their army under a rayless sky.
  5. We were mangling and gashing their serried ranks under a starless sky

You do not need to copy the above phrases as it is. You can change adapt the phrases so you personalise your writing!

I am looking for: Accurate grammar use, appropriate figurative language, a range of adverbs, powerful adjectives, a range of clauses etc.

Here is an example of a fight scene to help you get started:

The sky was carrion-black. Poppy-red blood drizzled from our wounds. The trolls were clunking axes and crashing war hammers against our shields. Arrows were zipping and hissing through the air. Some of our men were sobbing and snivelling with fear. Swords were ringing against each other. A legion of trolls attacked the centre of our lines. The septic smell of death hung over the battlefield. It was a battle of head-clasping horror. The acrid taste of blood rose up in our mouths.

41 thoughts on “Year 6 Red – English Descriptive writing 05.05.20

  1. It was a night where it was dark as a midnight sky. The soldier did not fear the darkness in the town. He wandered around the destruction of the land , his amour had scars from the war. His shadow leapt away from him , he could feel the cold dusty air. Sweat trickled between his veins. It was pin-drop silence. No one made a noise until…

  2. The sky was an inky shadow crawling upon the wounded people. Wine red blood was like a stream of river flowing down our arms. The goblins were clonking daggers and clobbering war swords againts our silver, stained shields. The arrows dashed and zoomed through the essence. Part of our men and women were wailing and abbreviated with fret. The dazzling swords reflected and contrasting with each other. A Calvary of goblins and trolls ambushed the midpoint of our lines. The deleterious smell of extinction swayed across the battle field.

  3. 1). We were smashing and crashing against our enemies under a charcoal sky.
    2). We were smacking and buttering their cover under a disordered sky.
    3). My head was like an erupting volcano.

  4. As the light shone on the superheroes they stood still preparing for a grisly battle. While everyone was standing still both the opposition were staring directly at each other knowing what was about to go down.
    There lay Thanos waiting to shed some blood and to end his opposition’s lives.Everyone had started growing more envious towards each other and with one pounce everything had turned to chaos.Shields clashed and spears thrown there was no getting out of this.The people either flew to each other or walked to each other.This was a battle between the brave and the evil.Nobody knew what would’ve happened next..

  5. Light cleaved the pitch black sky, warriors prepared for battle, blood was soon to be shed. Every being standing there could feel the wrath and anger from the ominous Thanos’ presence. Swords clashed, arrows hissed through the air parting enemies from their allies, sparks flew and reinforcements were called. It was good vs evil, peacekeepers vs instigators, heroes vs villains, paladins vs the mad titan Thanos.

    • I like the idea for the last sentence – create a good visual representation for the audience.

      It sounds like you like Marvel. Is this right? What are your favourite films/characters?

  6. The sky was as black as a dead computer screen. Rubicund blood spread from our havocs. The trolls were clomping axes and slammed battle hammers against our shields. Arrows were darting and whizzing through the essence. Some of our men were wailing and compressed with fear. Swords were reflecting against each other. An army of trolls attacked the core of our lines. The septic smell of demise hung over the battleground. It was a battle of head-clasping horror. The acrid taste of blood became a larger taste in our mouths.

    • Love your ideas here – well done.

      We just need to think about how you make your sentences flow better. Think about expanding some of your ideas and how the character’s are feeling.

  7. It was a cold winter evening. We were battering and beating against our enemy under a sunless sky. Intensity hung high in the air. This was it. We were either going to go big or go home. The sky was profane-black. The battlefield had a cold malevolent air to it, the wind howling past us in every way. The fire crackled as it burnt many pieces of rubble. Poppy-red blood drizzled from our deeply cut wounds.

    • I like the use of descriptive language here. Well done!

      Your 4th sentence – I would have extended this part in more detail. This would give the audience more information on how the character’s are feeling. Currently the sentences are not ‘flowing’ as well as they should.

  8. The sky was pitch due to Thanos’ aroma. The floor was covered ruins from the entry of no other before. Sweat was dripping as if it was a run down tap as the Marvel universe made an eligence. Unherd of technology paired with arrows and spears flew through blinding dusty smoke electric bolts skated rapidly down the earth like the most powerful ever before. Every single super power was brought to this fight to show how different we are but how clos e we are. Blood was raining down on enemies as Marvel was whipping out the evil nation. Every breath felt like last as they it their all. Terror and horror hang above the battlefield waiting for who would win.

  9. The sky was dark black as the smoke from the fire slowly rose up into the air. Arrows flying through the air hitting anyone that can into its way. We were battering and beating under a sunless sky. The feeling of death was lurking in the air. Warriors on the the floor sobbing as blood slowly drizzled through their wounds. Rubble was falling onto the floor right before our eyes as we saw our city get destroyed.

    • I like this!

      Try to extend this sentence by adding the character’s feelings:

      Rubble was falling onto the floor right before our eyes as we saw our city get destroyed…

      • Rubble was falling onto the floor right before our eyes as we saw our city get destroyed. We all looked around with teardrops in our eyes remembering the famous monuments that used to be their.

  10. The churning sky was pitch black. Poppy-red blood crept down from our injured wounds. Some warriors were groaning in pain while others shrieked in fear. Our enemies were clunking their spears and clashing their swords against our vigorous shields. Arrows were hissing in the air like snakes. A multitude of trolls attacked the centre of our lines. The virulent smell of death hung above the battlefield. The pungent taste of blood filled our mouths.

  11. The luminous moon hid beneath the cover of the Earth;hiding from the destruction that was to ensue.Shadowy figures were steadily moving closer, their mangled horrific forms visible enough to send fear punching through our guts.We were forsaken.
    The vile taste of blood slithered up our mouths.
    Spears and swords wailed hopelessly as they were thrust around aimlessly.

  12. 1) The sky was jet black, as was my heart.
    2) My head was like a hurricane.
    3) I was surrounded by fragments of rouble, was that going to be me at the end of this battle?

    • Great to see you on the blog again!

      Think about you first sentence:
      People snivelling with fear

      You could make it better by…
      People were shivering with fear as their enemies raised their weapons.

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