Children return to school Mon 8th April

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Yr6 – 6.7 – literacy – Ruckus 1

Task

I would first like you to watch the blow clip, please stop it at 0:24 so that you are able to see the below freeze frame!

For your first task I would like you to concentrate on the first few seconds of the clip. Watch how the steam train moves; this is the first object that you will need to describe.

I would like you to write a few sentences to describe how the steam train moves along the tracks! Can you include some personification? A metaphor? I have written a model text below; use this to assist in your writing.

Model writing

The train had awoken and had cleared the way. The sand fled in its presence, spiralling away from its gleaming structure, away from the tracks, away from the dusk and into the dawn. Clunking and Screeching, the frozen engine kicked into motion, pushing the traditional steam train down the beaten, old track and into the fresh morning. Even after the train had left, the sound of the pulsing locomotives pounded through the sky; the deep booms of its powerful thrusts quietened down to gentle beats in the heart of the desert.

76 responses to “Yr6 – 6.7 – literacy – Ruckus 1”

  1. Omar B.

    As the historic train briskly moved, The two individuals silently break into the vehicle. Then they see a shiny ruby,Since they were selfish, They wanted the ruby for themselves so they combated for it. Then the hostiles see that the ruby drop down so they tried to snatch it, Then they open they’re blurry eyes and see that they ended up on a clinic. The moral of the story is the fact that if you want something that somebody else wants, make sure to share it to make both of you happy.

  2. Uday K.

    As the train moved swiftly and rapidly across the tunnel the black smoke full filled the air as the paper flew out of the cliff.

    1. Mr Patel

      Remember to include a comma to separate the two clauses. Do you know where we need this?

  3. Amelia M.

    The train tracks sat silently, as a wanted poster flew on the track. Suddenly, a large train zoomed by and the wanted poster flew away. The train drove along the tracks around a mountain in the canyons. The wind blew hard, causing sand and small rocks to fly around the train.

    1. Mr Patel

      How many train tracks are there? One or two? Should it be plural or not?

  4. Leena N.

    The train had awoken and had cleared the way.There was no-one to be seen. Suddenly the train started moving and so did the wooden boxes. As the train drive down the track a wanted poster flew into their landing into a lush green cactustat ripped te paper apart. The steam from the train from the train that was realised looked as if it was white candy floss. All of a sudden, there are two young boys in a weird stance.

    1. Mr Patel

      Good description.

      Please go back and insert the commas in the correct place.

  5. Leeda D.

    The paper flew away as the rumbling train quickly stormed out of the deep tunnel. Rustling and rumbling, it’s steam engine roaring. The grey, foggy smoke blew out from the top of the speeding train. It made it’s way onto the tracks, blowing everything on it’s path or in it’s way far.

    1. Mr Patel

      Its Vs it’s?

      Which one is correct and why?

  6. Anya D.

    Out of the tunnel came the steam train, which moved rapidly along the tracks, eager to get to its destination. It sped along the route leaving a trail of thick black smoke, whirling in the air. As the train passed by, it flung a piece of paper off the cliffs and left sand levitating up and slowly falling back down to the ground. The old, rusty engine made a sound as the train turned round a bend.

    1. Mr Patel

      Good.

      Don’t forget the comma for….’thick black’.

  7. Safa H.

    Suddenly, the train awoke. Piercingly, the engine barked and the motor howled. The train began to navigate it’s way through the curved tunnels. Swiftly and expeditiously, the train ran at a high pace, while letting out huge clouds of smoke into the polluted air.

    1. Mr Patel

      Loved the last sentence opener! ‘Swiftly and expeditiously’.

      1. Safa H.

        Thank you.

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